


all for you

by soonyoungah



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, prepare yourself for angst, rating because of drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 22:12:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13420680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soonyoungah/pseuds/soonyoungah
Summary: soonyoung has always had his insecurities, and so does jihoon.





	all for you

jihoon sighs at the pile of paperwork right infront of him. it's friday and he should be knocking off work in two hours' time, but he doesn't think he will be going home on time today. he gives soonyoung a call to tell him that he's going to reach home late.

"again?" soonyoung asks. it's not the first time. in fact, it happens almost every single week, and soonyoung is getting restless. it's a god damn friday, for fuck's sake. he was all dressed up and ready to head out to their favourite restaurant for dinner with his boyfriend. "seems like there won't be any dinner plans tonight," soonyoung says, and then flings his coat onto the couch.

"i'm sorry, babe." this is all jihoon can say, but he knows soonyoung isn't pleased.

"can't you leave it until next week?" soonyoung sounds annoyed. jihoon doesn't like it, because he knows that he hasn't been spending enough time with him. like, quality time.

"soonyoung, you know me."

soonyoung lets out a sigh. he can hear that jihoon is slightly annoyed by now, so he doesn't want to question him anymore.

"i will head over to wonwoo's then," soonyoung sighs, and hangs up before jihoon is able to say anything else.

soonyoung thinks that jihoon is almost perfect for him. jihoon gives soonyoung the space he needs, he's good looking, he sings well (in the bathroom - soonyoung has begged him several times but he will always refuse to sing for him), and he's a animal lover.

soonyoung says almost, because jihoon is too much of a perfectionist, and too stubborn for his own good. i can always overlook his flaws, because i love him, soonyoung tells himself every damn time. but he's getting sick and tired of these repetitive conversations. his apologies are starting to sound like excuses, and it seems as if jihoon doesn't priortize soonyoung anymore.

soonyoung thinks that jihoon has changed, ever since they started living together. he doesn't like that.

he texts wonwoo to tell him that he's heading over to sleep for the night and packs his clothes, shoving them into his duffel bag that wonwoo bought him a few months back. wonwoo's reason for buying him the bag was simply because _i just thought of you_. soonyoung thinks that it's a stupid excuse, but his heart did skip a beat then anyway.

it's times like these that soonyoung starts to think twice about wanting to have a future with jihoon.

"anything you want to talk about?" wonwoo asks, the moment he opens his door to welcome soonyoung. soonyoung shakes his head. he gives a small smile, trying to hint wonwoo that he doesn't want to talk about it. wonwoo lets him in without a word.

"beer?" wonwoo opens his fridge. "or soju?"

"mix it."

"you sure?" wonwoo turns around to look at soonyoung, but there's nothing he can read from his facial expression. soonyoung just nods silently. wonwoo pulls two cans of beer and a bottle of soju out of his fridge. he mixes the drink, half and half, because he knows that soonyoung likes it that way.

"how's work?" wonwoo starts the conversation. soonyoung is aware that wonwoo is careful with his words. he smiles at the thought. 

"bad," soonyoung thinks back. "one of the kids in my class got caught for smoking. he got sent for detention, but i still have to come up with a counselling plan and parents' meeting session as well.”

"sounds boring."

"it is."

wonwoo doesn't mention anything about jihoon, and soonyoung is thankful for that. all he wants to do right now is to spend some quality time with his best friend. they continue catching up on what they have been missing out on each other's lives for the past year, and the empty alcohol bottles are slowly stacking up on the table.

"wonwoo," soonyoung calls. he stops for a moment before continuing. "how are you these days?"

wonwoo opens his mouth to say something, but ends up keep quiet instead. he shrugs, and pulls a potato chip out of his cabinet. it's soonyoung's favourite flavour and brand, he realises.

"oh, look at that. someone was influenced by me!" soonyoung says.

"yeah, it's good." wonwoo says only half the truth. it's good, it is. but the truth is, he ran down to the convenience store to grab this stupid bag of potato chips the moment he received his text, because he knew that soonyoung always liked to have this with beer. he gives soonyoung a small smile.

"is there anything you want to tell me?" soonyoung's face is serious.

wonwoo thinks about the time when they used to spend their time after school eating rice cakes and udon near their school. he was already in love with soonyoung, but couldn't find the courage to confess. he didn't really know how much soonyoung mattered to him, until jihoon came along. it was like a thunderstorm when it happened. it took him just two months to lose his first love to jihoon.

he used to think about the what ifs when they first started dating. it was hard for wonwoo - he lost his friend and his first love at the same time. soonyoung stopped hanging out with him after school, he stopped sleeping over at wonwoo's, and he stopped telling him the hardships he was going through.

wonwoo is over it, or so he thinks. he wants soonyoung to be happy, and he thinks that letting soonyoung be with jihoon is the best thing he can do for soonyoung. but when things like these happen, when soonyoung comes to him with an expression that screams that he's mentally drained, he doesn't know what to do anymore.

"is there something you want to tell me?" he asks instead.

soonyoung looks down instead of replying him. he plays with his fingers, which jihoon tells him is a bad habit because people can see how nervous and vulnerable he is whenever he does that.

"i feel like jihoon doesn't love me anymore," soonyoung confesses.wonwoo never knew how much one sentence could hurt his heart. his head is spinning, but he's notsure if it's from the alcohol. he forces a smile and scoots closer to soonyoung, placing his hand over his.

"why would you say that?" wonwoo wants to tell him that he shouldn't think that way, that he knows that jihoon still loves him, but he can't bring himself to it. he just  
can't.

"we live together, but there are times we don't even see each other's faces for a week," soonyoung closes his eyes, and buries his face in his hands. he keeps quiet for a long time, and wonwoo just pats his back in the most gentle way possible.

"i'm sorry," wonwoo starts with a small voice.

"for?" soonyoung looks up, eyes rounded.

that's the thing about wonwoo. he was always the first one to apologise, even if it wasn't his fault to begin with. soonyoung's head is hurting.

"i'm sorry i can't hep much."

soonyoung sighs, now covering wonwoo's warm hands with his.

"your presence itself is already more than enough for me, jeon wonwoo. don't say ever say something like that again," soonyoung says quietly, looking into wonwoo's eyes.

wonwoo feels his heart skip another beat. he's so close, so damn close to wanting to pull soonyoung into his arms and tell him that everything will be fine, and that everything will be better. but he doesn't, because he knows that he shouldn't. "thank you," wonwoo can barely reply.

soonyoung's phone rings. it's jihoon. soonyoung doesn't seem like he wants to talk to jihoon just yet.

wonwoo looks at soonyoung softly. "soonyoung ah, pick up his call."

"...i refuse to."

"then i will pick that up for you."

wonwoo picks up the call, but soonyoung snatches his phone back anyway. he takes his leave when soonyoung greets jihoon over the phone.

"mhmm."

"soonyoung ah..."

"what do you want?" soonyoung hisses. sometimes jihoon thinks that soonyoung is too transparent with his feelings, but he's thankful for that when it comes to moments like these.

"come back, will you?" jihoon begs.

there's a short silence. wonwoo comes back with a glass of water and places it in front of soonyoung. he grabs the phone from soonyoung, and tells jihoon one sentence before hanging up.

"soonyoung will be back in thirty."

he returns soonyoung his phone. "you can't run away from your problems all the time. talk to jihoon about what you've been feeling lately. if he doesn't change anything about it, you will know what to do then."

soonyoung can only sigh.

"i know how much jihoon means to you. you're not going to give him up that easily, right?"

 

* * *

 

 

jihoon is waiting downstairs when soonyoung gets back. he quickens his pace towards soonyoung and pulls him into a tight embrace.

"i dislike you," soonyoung whines, but returns the hug anyway.

"i'm glad you don't hate me yet," jihoon cracks a small smile against soonyoung's neck. "i'm sorry."

jihoon holds soonyoung's hand and leads him to their neighbourhood playground. he makes soonyoung sit down on the swing, and then kneels before him.

"i don't know how to bring this across, but i hope you know that you really mean a lot to me. i have been-"

"jihoon ah," soonyoung cuts him, eyes teary.

"let me finish, okay?" jihoon holds soonyoung's hands. he looks at soonyoung's endearing smile and thinks about the times they have spent together for the past one year.

jihoon thinks it's funny how the world work. they got to know each other through their mutual friends, junhui and wonwoo. despite knowing that wonwoo had a thing for soonyoung, jihoon still tried to woo soonyoung anyway. things end up well, jihoon got together with soonyoung, but soonyoung had those days where he had to spend time with wonwoo.

jihoon has always had his insecurities.

despite knowing soonyoung and wonwoo are just best friends, jihoon can never stop thinking about the chances of soonyoung leaving him and going back to wonwoo. as long as you are happy, i will be, he has told himself several times throughout the relationship.

jihoon thinks that the best thing that has ever happened to him in his 25 years of existence is having soonyoung by his side.

"i love you," jihoon confesses. "so much so i am willing to give up anything for you."

he looks at soonyoung in the eye. he wipes the tear rolling down soonyoung's cheek with his thumb, and then continues.

"i have been wanting to tell you this for a long time, but i just couldn't find the right time to do it," he takes out two air tickets from his back pocket. "remember that one time we talked about our bucket list? and then you told me that you wanted to see the northern lights and milky way in norway?"

soonyoung takes the air ticket from jihoon, hands shaking, not being able to find the right words in his mouth.

"i know that i have been neglecting you for the past six months. not being able to have dinner with you often, not being able to have a proper date on fridays, and not being able to spend quality time on weekends. i hated that. this may sound like a stupid excuse, but," jihoon clears his throat. "i have been working overtime just so we could travel to norway. together."

soonyoung's tears are flowing by now. he pulls jihoon for a hug and snuggles his face against jihoon's neck.

"it's not a stupid excuse," soonyoung mumbles in between while trying to catch a breath. "you're too good for me."

"no, you are the one who is too good for me. you stayed by my side, rain or sunshine. and honestly speaking, i'm sorry for the times i was sensitive whenever you hung out with wonwoo," jihoon says, caressing his boyfriend's back.

soonyoung breaks away from the hug and takes a good look at jihoon. he grins at the fact that jihoon's eyes are red, because jihoon never cries. he gives him a soft peck on his lips.

"yes, you should be. you know how i feel about wonwoo," soonyoung cups jihoon's face with his left hand. "wonwoo is just-"

"your best friend, i know. but everyone knows how he feels about you."

"yeah, except you."

jihoon blinks. "what do you mean?"

"were you really that busy earning money just so we can travel to norway? i will make sure to filter my mouth the next time i talk about anything i want," soonyoung laughs. "he's dating junhui now."

jihoon opens his mouth to say something, but ends up just saying oh.

"i love you too," soonyoung gives jihoon another peck on his lips. "thank you for being you, and i'm sorry."

"for?"

"ah," soonyoung bites on his lower lip. "for being sensitive and thinking that you don't want me anymore."

"you know that i won't give you up, right?"

"you never know!"

"yeah, watch me abandon you when i find someone else better than you," jihoon pinches soonyoung's cheeks. "which will never happen."

"cheeeeeese!" soonyoung scrunches his nose, and jihoon stops breathing for a second.

"you like them. let's go, i will make you supper."

jihoon thinks about the days where they first started dating. pretending to prefer hot chocolate over latte because soonyoung likes everything sweet, dressing himself with brightly coloured clothes even though his closet consisted of 80% of black and white outfits because soonyoung likes flashy colours, and not playing computer games because soonyoung gets upset easily when he loses.

it's a waste that he has to ruin his surprise for soonyoung like this, jihoon thinks. it's even funnier that it was ruined because they were being overly sensitive about each other, and now that everything is cleared up, he tells himself to focus on the better things in life.

which is marrying soonyoung.

jihoon reminds himself to visit soonyoung's parents before they fly off to norway in three months.

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this within two days but took me forever to post cause i thought it was lacking ;; sorry for the sudden ending. i wanted to have a closure for wonwoo but then again i guess having it open ended would be a better choice, so! 
> 
> hope u enjoyed this!
> 
> and thank u beryl for always being so supportive of my shit ass soonhoon ideas


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